Dear She,
My dad has become severely depressed since we lost our mom. He refuses to let us straighten up the house. His refusal to remove my mom’s items is a constant reminder of his loss and anxiety. Do you have any suggestions?
Depressed Dad
Dear depressed dad,
Grief can be overwhelming. Each person has a different approach and coping mechanism. Your dad is no different. Technically, having your mom’s things in the house is not hurting your dad directly.
I do believe he is prolonging his healing process.
I would like to suggest what I consider my ABC options:
Acknowledge your dad’s right to leave those items just as they are. It may be difficult to accept his decision. He is entitled to prepare for his next move at his own pace.
Barter with your dad. Consider a local cause or organization near and dear to his heart. It may be an organization he knew your mom supported. Gently discuss with him a way he could celebrate her memory by donating a few things in her honor.
Comfort your dad with a conversation about his spirituality. Feeling connected to God, a higher purpose, or having a sense of an afterlife, can be comforting. Find ways to help him connect with whatever resonates more with his life, from various words of scriptural affirmation to prayer.
Proverb: Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, But a good word makes it glad.
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Sheila A.O. is the owner of She Orders, Organized Space and Customized Meals with love. Sheila, uses humor, education, and inspiration to create an environment of love Sheila (nickname “She”) resides in Zebulon, NC.
For organizing and custom meals, visit www.SheOrders.com Facebook @SheOrderswithLove
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